Falling Read online

  “Blake, hey buddy.” I know that voice, Connor. Fate must be out to get me because it is like I can’t get away from him or my feelings for him.

  “Connor! Hey Samantha. So you two come to see the moving pictures tonight?” Blake jokes.

  “Yeah, Connor wanted to see a movie, so here we are. What are you two seeing?” Samantha asks Blake. She totally ignores me, like usual.

  “We are seeing Texas Chainsaw. Abby has a thing for horror." Blake winks at me which makes me laugh.

  “Yeah, I remember. We are seeing that movie too, want to sit together? I know you guys are on a date, so if you want to be alone we will understand." Connor asks Blake, glancing in my direction for the first time. I told him the other day I wanted to be alone, so what is he thinking.

  “Fine with me. The more the merrier, right Abby?”

  “Yeah, great." I can’t believe this. How is it possible that I am now going to be on a double date with my fantasy guy and his hostile girlfriend. I just want to go home. I wonder if I pretend to get sick, Blake will take me home.

  When we finally sit down, I end up sitting between Blake and Samantha. Well, this is a dream come true, sitting beside the girl who loves to torture me. Blake grabs my hand as soon as we sit down and starts rubbing his thumb back and forth on my wrist. I glance away from our tangled hands because it just doesn’t feel right. I don’t want to hold Blake’s hand, I want to hold Connor’s. Goodness, I feel like crying. As I look away from Blake, my gaze wonders over to Samantha and Connor. They are whispering and laughing, looking totally happy. At that moment, Connor’s eyes meet mine. He just stares at me for a moment, looks at my hand caught in Blake’s, then turns towards the movie screen. For the next hour and a half, I can barely concentrate on the movie. My emotions are on meltdown. Between my guilt for not liking Blake and the mysterious moments with Connor, I don’t know how to feel. I finally need a break from all of it, including the blood and gore on the screen, and excuse myself to go to the restroom. After giving myself a pep talk in the mirror, I exit the bathroom to find Connor leaning against the wall beside the door.

  “You okay?” he asks with a glance at my outfit.

  “Yeah, fine. I am just a little unsure about Blake. I feel like I am hanging out with a friend, not a date.”

  “Really? From the looks of it I thought you guys were hitting it off,” he questions.

  “Yeah, well, looks can be deceiving, can’t they?" I say sadly, as I go back into the theater. As Connor and I sit down, Samantha shoots daggers at me with her eyes. I turn towards Blake and smile. I sit with my hands under my legs so Blake won’t have the opportunity to grab my hand again.

  On the way home, Blake continues to make me laugh with funny stories. When we get to my house, he is a perfect gentleman. He walked me to the door, gave me a kiss on the check, and said he would call me tomorrow.

  Once in my bedroom, I shut my door and just leaned back against it with my eyes shut. What am I going to do? I can’t continue to date Blake if I have feelings for Connor. That is just wrong, and I couldn’t do that to him. He deserves better than that. I am determined to like Blake. He is great and he likes me. I will give it a week and if it doesn’t work, next Saturday I will tell him the truth, or a version of it.

  I spent Sunday thinking over my life while I completed my chores, and now I am more confused than ever. I talked to Leah about Blake and she agrees that I should give it a week. I didn’t mention to her the weirdness between Connor and me, she would only question him about it. I am not ready for that yet. Blake called and we talked about school and Mathletes, but the conversation felt awkward and forced. Why do boys make everything so much more confusing?

  Chapter 8

  School sometimes passes in a flash, and then other days it drags by like it will never end. I have spent the last couple of days avoiding Connor and Blake, in hopes that the situation will become clear to me. I am still thinking about the other night with Connor, but Blake is just so nice that guilt is about to eat me alive.

  As I walk into history class, I notice that Leah’s desk is empty. Where is she? The bell rings and still no Leah. After history, I slip into the bathroom and call Leah’s cell. She is home in the bed with the flu. Well, that is just great. Now on top of everything, I get to go through school alone. I have other friends, but Leah is the one that understands me. I hate it when she is absent. I guess since we have all the same teachers, I can at least gather her work and take it to her after school.

  Before heading to the cafeteria for lunch, I stop by my locker to throw my stuff inside. As I am opening my lock, someone bumps into me from behind.

  “Excuse me. I’m standing here.” I spit out.

  “Sorry Klutzy, didn’t see you there. Someone having a bad day?"

  “Hey Connor. Sorry, didn’t mean to bite your head off. I just have a lot on my mind.”

  “What’s going on? You okay?”

  “Just confused about some things. Makes my brain hurt to think about them.”

  “Well, I wanted to talk to you about something. The other night after the football game . . . I didn’t mean to . . . I mean I am with Samantha but . . . I know you and Blake went out . . . but I wondered if . . ." Oh great, he is trying to explain that the almost-kiss-moment was an accident. This day is just getting better and better.

  “Oh, that,” I laugh interrupting him, “I haven’t even thought about it. No big deal. Nothing to worry about." Every word I say is forced. I feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest. I knew the almost-kiss-moment had to be a mistake. No way could someone like Connor like someone like me. I am not hideous or anything, but we are just not in the same league.

  “Oh okay, well that’s good to hear. I just wanted to make sure we were okay. We are, right?" He sounds weird and he is frowning.

  “Of course." I turn away before Connor can see my eyes tearing up.

  **********

  “Hey Allie, want to go to Blue’s with me for a swim? I really need to exercise." I ask on the way home from school. I knew if I could just swim for an hour, I could relieve some of this tension in my body.

  “Yeah, sure. So Blake is really cute. I saw him when he picked you up.”

  “Allie, I don’t want to talk about Blake. So tell me about your day at school." My sister is so easy to distract. She can be a real brat sometimes, but I actually love spending time with her. After stopping by the house for our swimsuits we head to Blue’s.

  As I pull into a parking space at Blue’s Fitness Club, my sister starts going nuts trying to get out the door. I look across the parking lot and immediately see why. There, standing less than five parking spaces away, are the two boys currently wreaking havoc on my life. Allie jumps out of the car and jumps on Connor. I wish I could be that forward. I grab my bag and head over to where my sister is entertaining Connor and Blake.

  “Hey guys. Didn’t you have football practice today?”

  “Nope. Day off because no game this week.”

  “Blake, this is my sister Allie.”

  “Nice to meet you, Allie. So what are you two ladies doing at Blue’s?” asked Blake.

  “I needed to exercise and felt like a swim. Allie wanted to play in the pool, so she tagged along. What about you two?”

  “Just here to play some basketball,” replies Connor, “although a swim sounds like fun. What do you think Blake? Should we tag along with Abby and Allie and play in the pool?" I am praying hard right now that Blake says no, because I don’t think I can handle this situation. Please say no. Please say no.

  “We didn’t bring bathing suits, but I guess we could just wear gym shorts. Sounds like a plan.” Blake says as he puts his arm around my shoulders. I step away from him and act like I am digging around in my bag for something.

  “Great. This should be fun,” I whisper. Once through the doors, Allie and I head to the locker room to change. By the time we get to the pool, Connor and Blake are waiting for us. I have my towel wrapped around my waist
hoping that I can quickly drop it and jump in the pool. I really don’t need to start stressing about what I look like in a bathing suit on top of everything else. I drop my towel on a bench close by and start to climb in the pool. When I turn around, I notice both Connor and Blake are watching me. “What’s up? Why are you two looking at me like that?" All I can think about is there must be something wrong so I check my bathing suit to make sure it is covering all the parts it is suppose to.

  “Nothing is wrong. You just look good in your suit,” Blake winks. I blush and happen to look over at Connor, who is still studying me. I shrug my shoulders at him and swim toward the racing lanes at the far side of the pool. I notice Allie has made a friend in the play area so I don’t need to worry about her for a while.

  “Hey want to race?” suggests Connor with a smug look. He is a great athlete and knows it. Somehow I am still clumsy even in the pool, so I will lose regardless.

  “Sure, but the loser should have to do something, you know embarrassing. That will make the race more interesting,“ Blake says before he dives underwater.

  “What do you think Abby? What should the loser have to do?" Connor asks with a grin. They both know I am going to lose so it will be me that gets embarrassed.

  “I say the winners have to buy the loser a present. That way she will feel better after she is humiliated by two jerks.”

  “I’ve got it. The loser has to kiss the winners’ feet,” Connor proposes.

  “You have got to be kidding! There is no way my mouth is touching your feet. That is disgusting! You probably don’t even wash them well. No way! I refuse." Connor and Blake are both cracking up.

  “Abby, I was just joking. Well I am now at least,” he says as he stifles a laugh. “Okay, how about the loser has to carry the winners’ books for a day at school. Think you can handle that Klutzy?”

  “You two can carry each other books, I am going to swim my laps and leave,” I say over my shoulder as I swim away in a huff. I don’t want to owe them anything. This swim was suppose to relax me, not stress me out.

  “Abby, we were just teasing you. We can just race for fun, okay?" Blake asks sweetly. “Don’t be annoyed with us. We just like to pick on you." I glance back at Blake and Connor, they are both watching me, waiting to see if I still want to race.

  “Fine,” I sigh, “Let’s see what you two girly boys can do.” I say before I dive under the ropes in the racing lanes.

  “Did you just call us girly boys?” Connor snarls.

  “Was there something wrong with your hearing? I can repeat myself if I need to little lady.” I look at Connor when I add that last insult. To call Connor little lady is laughable but insulting him is fun. Blake is laughing so hard he can barely keep from going under.

  “Why don’t you come a little closer when you say these remarks, Abby? It’s easy to insult when there is a whole pool protecting you." Connor throws back. I growl at Connor and swim within a couple of feet of him.

  I smile sweetly at him as I continue to move closer to him. When I am within reaching distance, I launch myself at him, pushing his head underwater. He was totally unprepared for my attack. He resurfaces coughing and sputtering with a shocked look on his face.

  “Man, you showed me, Connor. I was really scared for about half a second." I snicker.

  He shoots me an evil smile and swims toward the racing lanes. “I will get revenge when you least expect it, Ab. Just watch out." Blake is leaning back against the side of the pool watching us with a look of disappointment on his face. Oh no. Blake must have watched me teasing Connor and guessed my feelings. It was probably obvious. There will definitely be a conversation about this. Just something else to dread.

  “Guys, look at the time. We have been messing around for 30 minutes. I need to hurry and swim some laps. I still have to drop Leah’s work off before I head home to do my own homework. So if we are going to race, let’s do it."

  “I can take Leah her homework Abby.”

  “No, I wanted to talk to her and see how she is feeling. Thanks anyway."

  I swim my laps then drag myself out of the pool. The guys are still racing as I dry off. I wait until they finish. Blake won by an arm length with a woot. I try to smile at him, but he seems to be avoiding my eyes.

  “I gotta run guys. This has been fun. See you both at school tomorrow." I turn to leave but Connor stops me.

  “Abby?”

  “Yeah,” I respond as I gaze at him over my shoulder.

  “Remember, when you least expect it, I will get my retribution,” he smirks, then continues doing laps.

  I peek at Connor and Blake once more before walking away. My life is a mess.

  **********

  “Abby, will you help me for a moment, please?” Mom yells from her bedroom. As I enter my parent’s room, I see Mom standing on a chair pulling things out of her closet.

  “What do you need me to do?”

  “Just take whatever I hand you and put it on the bed." Her arms are loaded with clothing and other forgotten items that were shoved in the top of her closet.

  “What are you looking for exactly, Mom?”

  “Oh, your father is taking me out to eat for our anniversary on Friday, so I was looking for my blue dress. It wasn’t hanging up, I thought maybe it got pushed to the back of the closet.”

  “So you guys are going out to eat? I guess that means I am watching Allie on Friday." This happens all the time. They make plans and just expect me to watch Allie without checking with me to see if I have plans. I bet they didn’t even know there wasn’t a football game, they just expected me to give up my plans for them. I wonder when they plan to give up their plans for Allie and me.

  “Yeah, I meant to ask you earlier but forgot. You can stay with her, right?”

  “It’s fine. The fall festival is going on this weekend, would it be okay if we go there and hang out? I would be needing some extra money for the rides and food, if that is okay?”

  “Of course, honey. Just get some out of my purse or ask your father for some.”

  “You guys could come with us. It would be fun if we all went together," I ask looking at her hopefully. When she doesn’t respond, I ask again. Still nothing.

  “Mom, what do you think? Could we all go together?”

  “Sorry, honey. I wasn’t paying attention. There is just so much dust in this closet. Was it something important that you asked?”

  “No, it never is.” I whisper to myself as I leave the room.

  As I am lying in bed trying to go to sleep, I think back over the past couple of days. How did my life go from so simple to so complicated? Blake is such a great guy, and I feel like I am using him. I need to tell Blake the truth and stop being a coward. I wish we were just hanging out as friends, because I really do enjoy being with him. Plus, I think he is someone that I could relax with and talk to about my problems. I have Leah, but I can’t talk to her about Connor. I just wish I had someone I could confide in and get advice from about him. Maybe I should just come clean with Connor and tell him how I feel once and for all. Nah, that would be a disaster. I would talk to my mom, but she barely listens to me. As I continue to wish, tears start sliding down my cheeks. Hopefully one day my life will make sense again.

  Chapter 9

  The Sutherland Fall Festival is an annual three-day event that is held in a grassy area near the town square. It is always a big draw for little kids and teens both, because of the rides, but there is also music, food, and crafts. Some years my parents insisted they go with Allie and me, but the last couple of years I have brought Allie alone or with Leah. Leah is still sick, so I am flying solo tonight with Allie, which really stinks. I love amusement park rides but, and this is a big but, I started getting motion sickness a couple of years ago. Usually Leah rides with Allie so this is not an issue, but this year I am hoping Allie will agree to ride alone. The festival is especially busy tonight because of the lack of a football game. It seems like everywhere I look there are people from
our school. I wish Leah was here with me. Oh well, this is important to Allie so I will make the best of it for her.

  “Okay, here are your tickets, Allie. What are you riding first?”

  “You’re riding with me, right, Abby? I don’t want to ride by myself. Most of the cars are built for two people. I will look like such a loser sitting alone.”

  “Allie, you know I get sick. Are any of your friends coming tonight?”

  “Nope, they are coming tomorrow afternoon and evening. Please, Abby, just one ride and then if you get sick I won’t ask again, okay?” she asks me with pleading eyes.

  “Fine, one ride,” I concede as I pray she doesn’t pick something that goes around and around.

  “How about the scrambler, it is probably the smoothest ride, or maybe the swings. Your choice.”

  “I guess I pick the scrambler, although the name of it does not bode well for my tummy.” Allie laughs as I cross my fingers and hope for the best.

  We head in the direction of the scrambler and get in line before I notice that a bunch of students I recognize are in front of us. I see two heads in particular that I want to avoid, a shaggy blond head and a short brown one. It must be their little group of friends. Samantha is up there somewhere too, and just another reason for me to avoid all contact. The line for the scrambler has started to move so they must be loading the ride. I hand over two tickets for Allie and me, then head for an empty compartment. While we are waiting for the ride to start, I try to focus on just Allie and our compartment, no looking around. All I need is to get sick in front of the two guys I like and the one girl who really hates me. If I can hold it together for this one ride, I will drag Allie to another area of the festival where they won’t see us.

  “It’s starting,” Allie says with a giant grin on her face. “I love rides so much." This is totally not what I am thinking. As the ride starts to move faster and faster, I feel my stomach starting to churn a bit. I grab the lap bar so hard that my fingers are turning white. My forehead is starting to sweat and I feel a little clammy. How long does this ride last, it feels like eternity. The ride is starting to slow down but my mouth has that feeling like the vomit is about to appear and say hi. I have to get off this ride. The guy is releasing the bar of the compartment beside us.